feeling good

i am down 13 pounds, and i feel really good. for the first time, i’m not horrified by my reflection in the window of the theatre next door. my clothes are looser, and i definitely need to go down a size in jeans. the odd thing is, that will be the same size i wore when i was almost 30 pounds heavier, but that’s another post for another day.

last week’s weigh-in had me up a pound, but it was my tom, and now that’s over and my weight is 3 pounds lower. i just hope the weight stays off when i stop taking the phentermine. i’m trying it out today to see how it goes without taking it. here’s hoping my body adapts because i think i could be happy even if i ended up at this weight. it’s not my goal weight, but it’s not too bad. i just hope i at least maintain today’s weight by my official weigh-in on friday. and if i could surpass it, that would be even better!

slow and steady

i’m down another pound today. that’s 11 pounds total. yay! it couldn’t come at a better time. that definitely will help me feel better about myself tonight!

back to the routine

now that my work schedule is back to normal, i’m back to working out. for the few weeks, my schedule has been out of whack, and i’ve had to go in to work earlier than normal. because of the fatigue from the arthritis, i’m *really* tired when i get home (as in i could go to sleep for the night), so i’ve missed my workouts. plus, i’ve been nervous since i spent the last, what, six months or so working out regularly and not losing weight. i’m scared that will happen again. it felt good to workout again today, though. my first set on the bike was rough, and i was really feeling out of shape, but after that i was fine.

cardio: 40 min.
weights/abs: 15 min.

yesterday, joe took me to see sex and the city. he was one of four men in the theater, but i think he liked it … at least a little. i saw him laughing at parts, and he’s grown to like the show as much as a guy can since he watched the series with me. i was a little surprised by the movie because the previews made me think it was going to be totally different. it was a great movie though, and a great end to the series. have any of you seen it, or are you planning to see it?

ready to move forward

we go back to our reproductive specialist on thursday. i cannot wait. i’ve been looking forward to this appointment for the last four weeks. now that we know there’s nothing wrong with joe and that there’s nothing wrong with me besides the pcos, i’m ready to get started on clomid and make a baby! i have been thinking about this nonstop. it’s so exciting to think that i could be pregnant in a couple of months.

speaking of doctor’s visits, i saw my pcp today. she said i’ve had good weight loss. i’m at 10 pounds in 7 weeks. not too bad. she gave me another month prescription of the phentermine, but i may not take it. my rs doesn’t want me to take it when i’m trying to get pregnant, and she says that she’s not worried about me gaining the weight back since the phentermine is supposed to speed up my metabolism. that was good to hear. oh, thursday cannot come soon enough.

almost two months down

i’m down another 1.2 pounds this week. yay! that puts me at 9.2 pounds lost in not even two months. it seems slow compared to other people, but it’s an average of more than a pound a week, and i’m happy with that. and this week’s lost definitely made up for last weeks 0.4 pound loss. i hate weeks like that. i know i should be glad that it’s still a loss, as small as it is, and the scale is still going in the right direction, but it’s still discouraging, especially when i make sure to stay within my calorie range. i’m trying to be more positive about this whole weight loss thing. we’ll see how long that lasts. haha.

bummed out

ryan and ori might be moving to taiwan. ryan has applied for a job teaching english at taiwan adventist academy, and it looks like he’s the only person in the running for it. if his references check out, and i know they will, they’ll be gone by august. for two years. that means they won’t be back until harry is almost 3. they’ll get to come home once a year for a visit, but that’s really not much, especially when they have two sets of family members to see. when they come back, they’ll (hopefully) have a niece or nephew they will have never met.

this is how the conversation went:

me: hey. we’re going to be gone the weekend of harry’s birthday, so can you do his party the weekend before so we can be there?
ryan: we could, but we’re going to be in taiwan.

nice way to find out, huh? so i’m bummed. i hate that not only will i miss out on seeing my nephew grow up, but i’ll miss out on really getting to know my brother and sister-in-law better. plus, when randy leaves in december i will have no siblings here. but, this really is good for ryan and ori. the school will pay for their apartment, and he’ll make more than he makes now. plus, he’ll get his teaching license and have two years as a teacher under his belt, which should help him get a job when they come back. and, he said that most of the students are not christian, so i think it’ll be a great way for him and the other teachers to witness.

and, to add to my bummed outness, i think the phentermine has stopped working. i’m not as full as i had been, and i’ve actually gained about a pound. i’m so terrified to eat anything now. i know this mindset isn’t good, and i probably should see a psychologist like joe suggested, but i’m just bummed now. i really wanted to lose about 20 pounds. if this doesn’t work, i don’t know where to go next since, as the doctor said, i’m eating right and working out enough.