Wipe Out

This is pretty funny. I literally laughed out loud as I watched it, though I felt horrible for the bride. If I were her, I would be pretty upset at the best man.

i think you have my stapler

we planned a low-key day in new york on sunday. i had a pretty bad arthritis flare up from all the walking we did on saturday (more to come on that later), so we thought we’d hang out at our hotel. we had lunch at a pretty authentic mexican place about a block up the street (it was *fabulous*), and then we decided to spend the afternoon at the pool.

joe hopped in (because the “deep” end was only five feet deep so he couldn’t dive) and swam the width of the pool to where i sat with my feet in the water, trying to get used to the temperature. he popped up to swim back across, and his face was covered in blood.

i started freaking out. everyone else at the pool pretty much ignored my comments of “ohmygoshyou’reBLEEDING”. joe couldn’t get his head to stop bleeding. i took a picture to send to my mom, who’s a nurse, and she said we needed to go to the hospital. as we walked out of the pool area, a jackass sitting by the door said, “that’s why the sign says not to dive in.” right, and that would be why he *didn’t* dive in. if anyone had been watching, they would have seen what had happened. joe had to move me along before i hit that guy. he really pissed me off.

joe injury 2

we told the clerk at the front desk, and the manager called us a car (and paid for our round-trip ride) to take us to the nearest hospital.

flushing hospital

flushing hospital is as ghetto as they come. i was not impressed. the triage nurse filled out joe’s paperwork by hand (i don’t think i’ve ever seen a hospital that wasn’t computerized), and she really didn’t seem to know what she was doing.

nurse: when did this happen?
joe: an hour ago.
nurse: how long has it been hurting?
joe: um. an hour. it didn’t hurt until i cut it.

after triage, i had to wait *forever* in the waiting room to register joe while an er nurse came and took him back. i got pretty upset watching the registration employees sitting around talking while i was getting text messages from my husband asking me when i was coming back to be with him.

joe ended up getting seven staples to close the wound because they couldn’t stitch him up in that location. he also got a tetnus shot, which, the way the doctor said it, sounded like he had won a prize.

doctor: when was the last time you had a tetnus shot?
joe: about 10 years ago.
doctor: well guess what *you’re* getting today!!

joe injury 1

joe has to have the staples in for 5-7 days. when the doctor said we could have his pcp take them out, i mentioned that i have a staple remover at home. he didn’t really get the joke.

now, joe is a celebrity at the hotel. every employee there knew who he was. today when we left, the new desk worker asked joe how he was doing, and a man who works at the restaurant came up to us and said, “you’re the guy who hit his head in the pool! i’ve heard about you.” but, when the shuttle arrived to take a large group of us to the airport, no one cared about letting the guy with seven staples in his head on first. 🙂

we have a new vacation goal now. in addition to hitting every major league baseball stadium, we’re going to try to go to a hospital in every city we go to. i think we’re well on our way to reaching that!

Protected: open mouth, insert foot

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you mean it’s not wednesday yet?

i guess i’m really wanting this week to move by faster than it is. for some reason i thought today was wednesday all day, which included my “wordless wednesday” post. haha. too bad someone (i’m looking in joe’s general direction!) didn’t correct me until after 5 p.m.!!

faux pas

joe probably will kill me for posting this, but it’s too funny not to. this is a conversation we had this morning.

me: my calves are too big.

joe: yeah they are, but they’re not as big as they were! (insert long pause here) wait, did i say the wrong thing?

i know he didn’t mean it like that, but it’s too funny not to give him a hard time about!