It Still Stings

Last night, I thought I might be pregnant. I hadn’t had my period in a month, and I was 10 days late.

So, on my way home from a meeting I covered, I stopped by the drug store to grab a pregnancy test. I was sure I wasn’t, even though I was off my birth control, but I couldn’t help by think, what if? It would have been so coincidental to find out I was pregnant with No. 2 the day before Joe’s birthday since we had found out we were pregnant with Lucy the day before my birthday. I imagined how we would tell everyone the news. I was making plans in my head as to how to fit another child in our three-bedroom house.

We were excited at the possibility. We definitely weren’t planning on getting pregnant now (I was only off my birth control because I had forgotten to get a refill), and the timing wasn’t great, but we could make it work.

But, three minutes later, we saw the two glaring words “not pregnant” on the digital test. I wasn’t as sad as I had been the two years we tried to get pregnant with Lucy because I know God has a plan for us and that everything happens in His time. That peace comforted me. But, even after finally getting pregnant, knowing I most likely won’t be able to have an “oops” pregnancy is hard. It still stings.

Someone You Know

Someone you know is suffering.

Someone you know cries month-after-month when looking at a negative pregnancy test.

Someone you know cringes when asked when she will have children.

Someone you know puts on a brave face when faced with pregnancy announcements, baby showers and births but is crying on the inside.

Someone you know is spending tens of thousands of dollars to get pregnant.

Someone you know wonders if being a parent will really happen.

Someone you know stares at the guest bedroom, dreaming of a nursery but realizing it may just stay a guest room.

Someone you know is infertile.

One out of every eight women is dealing with infertility. Chances are you know one who is fighting this battle. I am one of them.

This post is written for National Infertility Awareness Week.