two peas in a pod

i had an appointment with my rheumatologist today, and since it was several hours before i had to go to work, i threw on my yoga pants and a tank top.

afterward, joe and i decided to meet for lunch. it’s just too bad i forgot what he was wearing today.

twins 1

joe got teased pretty badly by his coworkers. oh, and he made me walk *far* behind him.

feeling good

i am down 13 pounds, and i feel really good. for the first time, i’m not horrified by my reflection in the window of the theatre next door. my clothes are looser, and i definitely need to go down a size in jeans. the odd thing is, that will be the same size i wore when i was almost 30 pounds heavier, but that’s another post for another day.

last week’s weigh-in had me up a pound, but it was my tom, and now that’s over and my weight is 3 pounds lower. i just hope the weight stays off when i stop taking the phentermine. i’m trying it out today to see how it goes without taking it. here’s hoping my body adapts because i think i could be happy even if i ended up at this weight. it’s not my goal weight, but it’s not too bad. i just hope i at least maintain today’s weight by my official weigh-in on friday. and if i could surpass it, that would be even better!

one in a million

yesterday, i took my first dose of clomid.

this morning, i woke up around 4 a.m. with stomach cramps much worse than yesterdays. i’m talking cramps so horrible i wanted to slit my wrists. literally.

isn’t it great how they warn you about mood swings being a side effect but don’t mention, oh, cramps that induce thoughts of suicide? or another side effect that i will not name but when joe told the doctor she said, “i’ve never had a patient get that as a side effect before.”

it’s pretty hard to sleep when you’re in a lot of pain. when i laid on my back it seemed to subside after a while, but if a rolled over just a tad, it was back again. let me just say, it’s really hard to lay on your back for several hours. i told joe getting pregnant wasn’t worth all the pain 🙂 my mom said that was the mood swing.

when joe got up, he looked online and found that cramping *is* a side effect of clomid. for a “small number of women” that is.

at least i’m special, right?

the best laid plans

my plan for saturday:
sleep in
get up and go to church
relax

what actually happened:
got up at 7 a.m. because joe saw julius’ ear was full of black gunk
puttered around until 9 a.m. when the vet’s office opened because i couldn’t go back to sleep
took julius to the vet
came home
cleaned up cat throw up all over the hallway
showered
laid down because my stomach cramps were about to kill me
went to pick julius up

the rest of the night was great. we ordered “27 dresses” on pay per view (loved it!) and relaxed. of course, giving julius the first of 42 doses of ear drops wasn’t great, but we came out unscathed and without scratches, so we’ll take it.

today, joe is at a meeting for all the club presidents in our kiwanis district. i’m going to spend the afternoon working on a scrapbook i’m making of harrison’s first year. it’ll be his birthday present, but i don’t think ryan and ori will mind if i give it to them before they leave. i’m sure everyone in the family will want to see it!

what did you do this weekend?

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starting over

remember how i thought yesterday was just going to be a waste of time? i was wrong. it was a *huge* waste of time. want to know what our instruction was? a dvd. yes, the nurse came in, put in a dvd, told us to change it when it was over and then left. here’s a sense of how moronic the dvd was: “prepare the spot on your abdomen. now, the abdomen is the part of your body in between your belly button and your pelvis…”

i turned to the other woman in the class and said, “if someone doesn’t know where their abdomen is they have more serious problems than fertility issues.”

the nurse did, however, return in time to insult me. as i’ve said before, i give myself an injection every week for arthritis, and for several years i had to mix it together before injecting it. but, enbrel always had a q-cap, which made it very easy. just screw that onto the syringe, pop it onto the top of the vial and pull back on the plunger to extract the solution. simple. yesterday, we had to also extract from a vial using a long needle. the needle cap was hard to get off, and i pulled hard and pierced my finger. nice.

then, i accidentally had my thumb on the plunger when i took off the vial. the solution went all over my paper towel, and the nurse said, “oh my, you’re not going to be injecting yourself are you?”

i said, “actually, i give myself a shot every week, thank you very much.”

for the rest of the practical portion, she would grunt when i showed her how i had done everything correctly and then say, “good job!” to the other woman. bitch.

but, the end of the session took the cake. the other woman in the class said she was nervous about having to pull back on the plunger before injecting the medicine. you have to do that to make sure there isn’t any blood, which would indicate you hit a blood vessel or a vein. you don’t pull back a lot — just slightly — and it’s not a big deal at all. she was really freaked out by it though. the nurse said, “don’t worry. that’s just for if you’re injecting into muscle. you’re putting it in your abdomen, and there aren’t any blood vessels or veins there. those are only in muscle.”

really? i beg to differ. i have injected into a blood vessel before, and i’ve had my injection site bleed from hitting a vessel or artery. i told my mom, a nurse, and my brother, a nursing student, and they thought that was the most ludicrous thing they’d ever heard. as randy said, “how else would blood circulate throughout your body.”

so yes, yesterday was a big ball of fun and excitement, but i’m totally over it now because my new cycle started today! i am both incredibly nervous and excited. i’m excited because this could be it! i could be pregnant in a few weeks. i’m nervous because i do *not* want to see another negative on a hpt. i told a friend last night who had ivf that i just can’t take another negative. she said she was the same way, and she refused to do it. she went to the fertility clinic and had them do the blood test.

so here it goes. i start clomid on saturday for five days, and then a week from next tuesday i go in for my ultrasound to find out how many eggs i have and when i need to take my shot. i don’t know how to i’m going to stand the time until i can test!