Prayers Needed Desperately

I woke up this morning and was full-on bleeding. We’re heading to the doctor now, and I am freaking out and pleading with God not to take our baby. Please don’t tell me everything’s going to be ok. Please just pray for us.


I had more spotting. I am now officially on bedrest until at least Thursday. Sigh. Apparently, my placenta is irritating my cervix and causing the spotting.

On the bright side, the doctor told Joe that at this point the risk of miscarriage, and he thinks she’s lumping a ruptured placenta in with that, is very, very low. That’s reassuring. She also told Joe that Smudge is a healthy and happy baby, just what every parent wants to hear. I’m sure everything’s going to be fine, but it definitely can’t hurt to take it easy.

The Beat of a Heart

Our nightly routine has changed slightly. Every night before we turn off the light and kiss each other goodnight, we pull out our doppler, put it on my belly and listen to the lub-lub-lub of Smudge’s heart. Then, when we’re done, we put our hands where Smudge is. It’s the best way to end the day.

We got our fetal doppler a couple days ago, and we’ve been having doppler parties ever since. The first night, we tried it out as soon as we got home from work and, once we found Smudge’s very strong and loud heartbeat, we called our parents to let them hear. It was a lot of fun to be able to share that with them.

14 week doppler

Later that night, we listened again before bed, and Smudge had moved from the right side to the left. She was on the left again last night too, which makes me wonder if we’re seeing a pattern with her. It’s pretty interesting.

What I love about this doppler is that it has a display of the heartrate which makes it easier to find Smudge since both of our heartbeats sound the same.

14 week doppler

It’s quite different than the dopper we tried about a month ago which was circa 1977!

doppler 10 week

I don’t know if we’ll keep it after our month is up. We don’t *need* it, but it’s definitely fun to have around. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Dream a Little Dream

Not only has Smudge been on my mind constantly, but she’s started to infiltrate my dreams.

Last night, I had a dream that my in-laws had Smudge for a couple nights, and when they brought her back, she gave me a big smile and was oh so cute. And, she was a GIRL! (I will spare you from the part of my dream leading up to this because it was just crazy weird.)

The night before, I dreamt that I was feeling the baby kicking me. It seemed so real that when I woke up I put my hand on my belly only to feel nothing. I know it’s still pretty early for that but, again, the dream seemed so real.

I wonder what Smudge will have me dreaming about tonight.


When we started trying to conceive in 2007, I figured it would happen easily. I never thought it would take us two years and an IVF to get pregnant. This definitely wasn’t *my* timing, but it was God’s timing, and I’m starting to realize that as this pregnancy progresses.

I’m definitely more ready for this baby financially and emotionally. I’m a money saving machine (except for when repairs on our house our needed, unfortunately), and I’ve definitely toned down my attitude. I don’t fly off the handle as much as I did before.

And most recently, one of our very good friends decided to take early retirement from work and has asked if she can watch our baby while we’re at work. What an amazing blessing that definitely would not have been an option two years ago. I’ve never been a fan of day care centers. My brothers and I always were watched by a grandmotherly-type woman who lived in our neighborhood and later by teenage babysitters, and that’s what I wanted for our baby. I have a pretty good schedule at work, and I don’t go in until mid-afternoon on the days I have late meetings, so this will give me flexibility to spend the morning with the baby. It also will give Joe time after work to go running without having to worry about being back by a certain time to pick up the baby. Plus, I love that she’ll be able to take Smudge to the park or the library or the local play place during the day. I’m so excited I can’t stand it. I feel so much more comfortable now about going back to work after maternity leave knowing that someone I know and trust is taking care of Smudgie.

Waiting two years to have a baby wasn’t our plan, but it’s amazing for me to see how things are falling into place now.