CTU Application

The following questions are used to determine your security clearance while working with the Counter Terrorism Unit.

1. Are you a mole?

2. If you said no, do you swear you’re not a mole?

3. Really?

4. Because the last person who said she was not a mole, actually was a mole.

5. If asked, can you download schematics to your cell phone?

6. Seriously, you’re not a mole, right?

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your expertise in hand-to-hand combat.

8. Hypothetical question #1: your brother asks to borrow your security keycard to bring you lunch at work. Do you:
a) Tell him no
b) Give it to him but make him promise not to tell anyone
c) Give it to him because he’s your brother and what’s the worse that could happen? I mean it’s not like your America-hating, Marx-reading hippie brother knows people with guns right?

9. Do you or have you ever held a grudge against CTU because an agent killed a family member of yours in the line of duty?

10. If you were a mole, it’s not that you wouldn’t be hired, you just wouldn’t be at the top of the list. Plenty of moles get hired at CTU.

11. Hypothetical question #2: You notice a security guard unconscious a doorway leading down a dark hall. Do you:
a) Set off the alarm
b) Go down the hallway on your own, shouting “Hello? Is anyone there?”
c) Run back toward the main offices without drawing your gun and hope you don’t run into any terrorists?

12. Suspicious activity: Do you report it, ignore it, or see what else you can find out and pray you’re not discovered and knifed in the lung?

13. Final question: A suspect is being held for interrogation, but won’t talk. What do you say to them?
a) Who do you work for?
b) We’re running out of time!
c) It’s cool. I’m a mole. I’ll help break you out.

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Hi! I’m a wife to a wonderful husband, mom to a beautiful and active (to put it lightly) kiddo, and fur-mom to 3 crazy cats. I’m a former journalist. I quit my full time job two years ago. Now, I am a freelance writer and a virtual assistant for several bloggers!

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