11dp3dt — One Day to Go

My beta is tomorrow. Holy cow, am I scared. I think that’s mainly because I can’t wrap my mind around the idea of being pregnant. I’ve never been pregnant. I’ve never seen a positive pregnancy test. That’s how I’ve kept myself from doing a hpt. All I see in my mind are the negatives, and I can’t bear to see that one, bold line again.

Every time I get scared, I say a prayer and think about the implantation bleeding I had, and that makes me feel better for a little bit. And even though I think I am, I’m still scared to death. I keep thinking like tomorrow’s beta is like a test in school — all I need is a 50! It’s too bad it doesn’t work like that.

I don’t really “feel” pregnant, but then again, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like right now. My little babies are still tiny, so I doubt I’d been feeling much. What I have noticed is a bit of cramping two days ago, which my mom thinks is my uterus changing, and how my abdomen cramps a little when I hunch forward at my desk at work. I doubt it means anything, and it’s probably a coincidence, but it’s just something I’ve noticed.

So, please, keep those prayers and good thoughts coming. Pray for me to have peace, because I really need that today.

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Hi! I’m a wife to a wonderful husband, mom to a beautiful and active (to put it lightly) kiddo, and fur-mom to 3 crazy cats. I’m a former journalist. I quit my full time job two years ago. Now, I am a freelance writer and a virtual assistant for several bloggers!

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Comments

  1. Joe says:

    What? The test is tomorrow? I didn’t study. At all. Oh my gosh, can I pleeeeeeeeeeeeease see your notes? Pleeeeeeeease? I left mine at home.

  2. Lisanne says:

    I just can’t believe that tomorrow is almost here. You’re the first person who I thought of when I woke up this morning! 🙂 So if it’s positive, are you going to announce it here in your blog? (Stupid question, maybe, but I’m just wondering whether you’re going to blog about it.) Praying for you … holding good thoughts … it really does seem to me like you’re pregnant, but I’m not a doctor.

  3. cady says:

    lisanne – if it’s positive, i will blog about it. it might be tomorrow, but it might not be. i know joe and i are going to want to tell our families and just enjoy it.

  4. heidikins says:

    praying for you!!

    xox

  5. good luck with your beta tomorrow!!!

    ICLW

  6. tfh says:

    I’ve been praying for your strength (and joy!) all week. I will add peace. Hope this birthday is filled with a tremendous gift.

  7. Casey says:

    I was totally thinking about you last night as I was trying to fall asleep. Prayers sent!!

  8. Barefoot says:

    Thinking about you today! How exciting.

  9. connie says:

    Praying for peace, calmness & strength as tomorrow nears.

  10. Carrie says:

    I am so thinking of you! I am sending you peaceful thoughts and cannot wait to hear how it goes. I think those cramps are a good sign…

    Thanks for stopping by my blog during my 2WW too! I am DYING with the waiting!

    Hugs,
    Carrie

  11. Ben says:

    Lots of crossed fingers and few crossed toes here in Wisconsin!

  12. Amber says:

    Good luck tomorrow!! Hope you will have an excellent beta!

  13. girl from florida says:

    I have been praying for you so much lately. You’ve been on my mind so much… I even went to bed last night praying for you. I had cramping when I was pregnant too… it was my first sign (after slight implantation bleeding)! xoxo

  14. thanks!

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