our new neighbors have moved in. i can’t remember if i mentioned that before. we met them a couple of weeks ago.

joe: hi. i’m joe, and this is my wife cady.

neighbor: i’m *name goes here*. i just got out of prison.

that was when i wanted to excuse myself and go hide all our valuable belongings. don’t worry. the story gets better. joe told jerry we had been in atlanta celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary.

neighbor: i hope my girl and i are together for a year.

joe: oh, how long have you been married?

neighbor: we’re not. she’s still married to her husband.

i sense many jerry springer moments in our future. and, to top the whole thing off, our neighbor was wearing an atf hat. joe says it must have been his parting gift when he left prison.

we looked our neighbor up on the state department of corrections web site that night to see what he had been in prison for. the next day, i called the pio at our sheriff’s office. as soon as i told him the last name, he knew who i was talking about.

pio: we think he broke into my wife’s house before we got married.


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Hi! I’m a wife to a wonderful husband, mom to a beautiful and active (to put it lightly) kiddo, and fur-mom to 3 crazy cats. I’m a former journalist. I quit my full time job two years ago. Now, I am a freelance writer and a virtual assistant for several bloggers!

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  1. Chas says:

    Oh dear…when I was growing up there was a lot of rental property at the other end of my street, and I’m sure at any given time there was probably someone living there who had just gotten out of prison. Those people would break into your garage and steal your mower and tools, or they’d siphon the gas out of your car. The key to living next to criminals is to make them think someone is home all the time. NEVER let them know when you are going out of town. NEVER tell them that both sets of parents live hours away. I would even go as far as telling them that you work from home :).

  2. Laurel says:

    Interesting neighbors! At least they seem nice so far, right?

  3. Stacey says:

    Oh goodness!! It may be time to invest in a home security system. Eek.

  4. Nanette says:


  5. the wifey says:

    want to borrow my dog? he’s big and barks really loud at scary people…

  6. Lisa says:

    So what was he in Jail for?

  7. Allie says:

    Oh my goodness, awful but for us readers, a hysterically funny post. Good luck and I agree, get a dog! 🙂

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