our new neighbors have moved in. i can’t remember if i mentioned that before. we met them a couple of weeks ago.
joe: hi. i’m joe, and this is my wife cady.
neighbor: i’m *name goes here*. i just got out of prison.
that was when i wanted to excuse myself and go hide all our valuable belongings. don’t worry. the story gets better. joe told jerry we had been in atlanta celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary.
neighbor: i hope my girl and i are together for a year.
joe: oh, how long have you been married?
neighbor: we’re not. she’s still married to her husband.
i sense many jerry springer moments in our future. and, to top the whole thing off, our neighbor was wearing an atf hat. joe says it must have been his parting gift when he left prison.
we looked our neighbor up on the state department of corrections web site that night to see what he had been in prison for. the next day, i called the pio at our sheriff’s office. as soon as i told him the last name, he knew who i was talking about.
pio: we think he broke into my wife’s house before we got married.