I have read several blog posts recently in which I felt the authors were criticizing mothers who work outside the home and basically saying they weren’t as good of mothers as women who stay home with their children.
One blogger in particular said that God intended for women to stay home, and that we will be judged according to how we choose to interpret His commandments which, to me, sounds like she’s saying that those of us who work outside the home just won’t get to go to heaven. I’m glad that isn’t something that my religion teaches. I don’t believe that God will punish women who choose to work or have to work. And, for the record, I don’t remember any of the 10 Commandments including forbidding women to work. If members of a religion choose to make something a commandment of their religion, they shouldn’t call it “God’s” commandment.
It is unfair for stay-at-home moms to judge working moms and say that we’re “bad” for having jobs. This same blogger said that women working outside the home for personal gain or fulfillment should be the exception and not the rule.
I’m not sure about other working moms, but I’m definitely not working for personal gain or fulfillment. I’m working because I have to. Sure, earlier in life, I was focused on my career as a journalist, but now, I would LOVE to stay home with my little girl and spend all day, every day with her. And, while I consider myself one of the lucky ones because Lucy spends fewer than 20 hours a week with the babysitter, it still hurts me to have to drop her off every day.
Am I a bad mom because I work? No. I’m a good mom because I’m doing what I need to do to help provide for my daughter. Do I spend less time with her because I work? Sure, a little less time, but she still is my entire world. Because I don’t work a 9-5 schedule, I get to spend time with her in the mornings before I go to work, I get to see her at times during the day, and Joe sometimes brings her by to see me after he picks her up.
Am I working by choice? No. Do I think that moms who choose to work are bad moms? Absolutely not. One commenter I read summed it up perfectly: My God loves me unconditionally, just as he does stay-at-home moms, and He doesn’t think I’m a bad mom because I work.
I also work…not by choice, but by necessity. Of course I miss my oys and would love to be home with them – I have to work. Brady has been in daycare since he was 4 months old…and though I wish I could have been with him, honestly I think daycare isn’t such a bad thing….well before 3 Brady could spell his first and last name, knew all his shapes and colors, could count in both english and spainish was fully potty trained and knew how to act around other children.
I work very hard to give my children a good life and find it VERY disturbing that people actually believe that God would fault you for trying to provide a better life for your children.
Amen, sister! This kind of crap absolutely infuriates me. I think daycare actually was very beneficial for Amelia, she LOVED playing with all her friends and can’t wait for “Real School” to start up this fall!
I work by necessity AND choice. I love it! There are lots of stories in the Bible where God uses women in extraordinary ways that are not so “typical” of their times. They were not all just mothers and wives. Some of them were even warriors! I love that God can use me in so many different ways. Not just being a mommy, but that I can walk in Him outside my home, too, and maybe have a greater impact. Take heart. We are all called to different purposes. It’s amazing to find out how yours is unique and perfect for you!
Amen to that! I completely agree…those sound like Man’s rules, not God’s. While I don’t like being away from Drake for 40 hours a week, I know that it makes me treasure the time I do have with him even more.
I’m not religious, but I totally agree that stay-at-home moms shouldn’t judge working mothers. Lame!
Ah, mommy wars. Can’t we all just get along? I’m a SAHM that was raised by a working mom. My best friend is my sister, who also works. So I have a lot of respect for working moms and all they do. But it cuts both ways–Whenever I meet someone new, I feel absolutely compelled to make sure I mention that I also have a college degree. For whatever reason, I feel like I need to make sure they know I’m not “just” a SAHM.
Geez. Mommy Guilt. We’ve all got it! But it sure would make life easier if moms didn’t feel the need to judge other moms.
I’m with you 100%! We had to relocate due to my husbands job so I was kind of forced into being a stay at home mom. I’m pregnant, so of course nobody wants to hire the pregnant chick! Don’t get me wrong, I love being with my little girl all day long, but it’s really killing us that I’m not working. And not to mention it gets really lonely during the day!
I’m definitely going to be saving your blog. 🙂
Wow! I can’t believe someone would say that, much less believe it. God loves everyone, and I don’t remember seeing anything in the bible about moms working! How could working be what determines going to Heaven? This lady sounds like a real nutcase.
I love being home, and I feel blessed to be able to (though we really could use a second income!), but it’s MY choice, not God’s commandment. I can’t imagine judging anyone for working. I don’t think God would feel any differently about me if I decided to start teaching again.
You’re a great mom, Cady. That woman was obviously misled!
I agree with you. I’m not trying to cause more problems, but I see a lot of the same from homeschooling moms as well. Everybody makes their own choices for all different reasons, and I can’t stand the people who judge! I feel so fortunate to get to stay home with my girls most of the time, but I also love that they learn things from daycare & get social interaction with other kids 10 hours a week. They love their time there just as much as their time with me.