wedding etiquette

if people haven’t rsvped by the deadline, is it tacky to call and find out if they’re coming? i’m torn on this issue because i’ve never received a call when i’ve forgotten to rsvp to weddings (which i’ve shown up for), but i want to make sure there is enough food for everyone. your thoughts?

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Hi! I’m a wife to a wonderful husband, mom to a beautiful and active (to put it lightly) kiddo, and fur-mom to 3 crazy cats. I’m a former journalist. I quit my full time job two years ago. Now, I am a freelance writer and a virtual assistant for several bloggers!

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  1. Liz says:

    It’s not tacky at all. It doesn’t sound like you’re having a sit down dinner, so it might not be as important, but most weddings you have to have an exact number. If anyone had shown up at my wedding without having rsvp’d, they wouldn’t have had anywhere to sit. I was told that it’s very common to call if they haven’t rsvp’d, and not rude at all. You can always have other people call, such as have your sister or your mom or Joe’s sister.

  2. yikes… I think it depends on how close you are to the guest. ??? I dont know… I definitely wouldnt be offended if you called me if I were the nonresponder!!

  3. Laura says:

    I didn’t call anybody, but there were other issues involved. I kind of knew ahead of time who would be planning on coming and who wouldn’t. Those who you’d assumed WOULD come, who haven’t responded? I would definitely give ’em a call.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I also think that it depends on how close you are to the guest.

    I called some people who didn’t rsvp, and the ones who I didn’t get a hold of called me up THE DAY OF MY WEDDING! to tell me they were coming.

    While I was doing my hair I was on the phone with the hall. I was having a sit down dinner even! geesh!

  5. Laura says:

    I don’t think so; I did it for my friend’s wedding. They should understand that you need to know. It’s more tacky that they didn’t RSVP in the first place.

  6. Tara says:

    I interviewed Emily Post’s granddaughter for this topic not too long ago. You are within your rights and etiquettely correct to call. She said to make it seem like it might have gotten lost in the mail and you wanted to make sure that didn’t happen. Then let them say they didn’t send it or they forgot or whatever. But you need to know and it’s acceptable to call.

  7. Chas says:

    It’s fine…call them.

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