I totally flipped out last night. I have been trying *so* hard to think positively (so much so that I have to remind myself I’m not pregnant yet) because I know a positive attitude can really help during this process. However, after Joe talked to a friend of his last night and asked him to send us a copy of the 3d ultrasound they’re having done this weekend, I just lost it. I ‘m trying so hard to be ok with the fact that I’m infertile and that everyone around us is having babies while we’re not. But, I’m not ok with it. Maybe…hopefully I’ll be ok with it soon, but right now I’m not. I don’t think that’s too abnormal.
So, Joe pulled over on the side of I-26 and I cried. And cried. And argued with God and wondered what makes me so bad of a person that I don’t deserve to be a mom.
And then, Joe reminded me that I’m going through this because God knows I’m strong enough to handle it, said one of the most beautiful prayers I’ve ever heard, and we were back on our way.
I definitely need God’s peace and strength to get through this, but I don’t think a little freak out every now and them is that bad either.
I do freak out sometimes too.. That’s normal for us human being.. But like what Joe said, God knows your are strong enough to handle problems and challenges in life..
Sometimes God gives us those little freak outs so we can be reminded of our stregnth..hang in there!
You ARE going to have a baby and you ARE going to be a mom! You’re just having to go the long way to get there. I have SO many friends that have had to go down the same path as you & they’re all moms now, one way or another. It will happen.
It happens to the best of us sometimes, Cady. We all have our moments.
Hang in there. We all have our times when our confidence levels drop to the ground. Just pick yourself up and keep going. {{HUGS}}
I’m sorry. 🙁 I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Hopefully next month you will receive TWO pink lines and will become a mom soon.