remember how i thought yesterday was just going to be a waste of time? i was wrong. it was a *huge* waste of time. want to know what our instruction was? a dvd. yes, the nurse came in, put in a dvd, told us to change it when it was over and then left. here’s a sense of how moronic the dvd was: “prepare the spot on your abdomen. now, the abdomen is the part of your body in between your belly button and your pelvis…”

i turned to the other woman in the class and said, “if someone doesn’t know where their abdomen is they have more serious problems than fertility issues.”

the nurse did, however, return in time to insult me. as i’ve said before, i give myself an injection every week for arthritis, and for several years i had to mix it together before injecting it. but, enbrel always had a q-cap, which made it very easy. just screw that onto the syringe, pop it onto the top of the vial and pull back on the plunger to extract the solution. simple. yesterday, we had to also extract from a vial using a long needle. the needle cap was hard to get off, and i pulled hard and pierced my finger. nice.

then, i accidentally had my thumb on the plunger when i took off the vial. the solution went all over my paper towel, and the nurse said, “oh my, you’re not going to be injecting yourself are you?”

i said, “actually, i give myself a shot every week, thank you very much.”

for the rest of the practical portion, she would grunt when i showed her how i had done everything correctly and then say, “good job!” to the other woman. bitch.

but, the end of the session took the cake. the other woman in the class said she was nervous about having to pull back on the plunger before injecting the medicine. you have to do that to make sure there isn’t any blood, which would indicate you hit a blood vessel or a vein. you don’t pull back a lot — just slightly — and it’s not a big deal at all. she was really freaked out by it though. the nurse said, “don’t worry. that’s just for if you’re injecting into muscle. you’re putting it in your abdomen, and there aren’t any blood vessels or veins there. those are only in muscle.”

really? i beg to differ. i have injected into a blood vessel before, and i’ve had my injection site bleed from hitting a vessel or artery. i told my mom, a nurse, and my brother, a nursing student, and they thought that was the most ludicrous thing they’d ever heard. as randy said, “how else would blood circulate throughout your body.”

so yes, yesterday was a big ball of fun and excitement, but i’m totally over it now because my new cycle started today! i am both incredibly nervous and excited. i’m excited because this could be it! i could be pregnant in a few weeks. i’m nervous because i do *not* want to see another negative on a hpt. i told a friend last night who had ivf that i just can’t take another negative. she said she was the same way, and she refused to do it. she went to the fertility clinic and had them do the blood test.

so here it goes. i start clomid on saturday for five days, and then a week from next tuesday i go in for my ultrasound to find out how many eggs i have and when i need to take my shot. i don’t know how to i’m going to stand the time until i can test!