tomorrow is my cd 3 ultrasound. i need this to be a good visit. i need to hear that the cyst is gone and things are a-ok to start clomid this month. i need to have *much* fewer than 10 eggs this time. i really need these things to happen.

i’m getting tired of paying every month just to have the doctor say, “sorry, we’ll have to hold off until your next cycle”. more than that, i can’t take another bad visit emotionally. i want to be a mom so bad and even though everything seems as though it will happen for us, there are the what-ifs. what if it doesn’t work? what if i never get to experience pregnancy and having a child? it’s enough to really bum me out and stress me out, and we all know stress works *against* pregnancy. it’s like a catch-22.

so i’m going to be nervous until tomorrow morning’s appointment. this is our third cycle. they say they third time’s a charm. i hope it is for us.