One of the fears in the back of my mind ever since our embryo transfer is of the wrong embryos being tranferred. One other couple had their transfer the same day as us, and it would be an obvious mixup as they are of a different race. I joke about it from time to time and, while I really don’t think anything went wrong, I think this kind of fear is natural.

Today, Joe sent me a story on CNN about a couple that found out their fertility clinic transferred the wrong embryos. They actually found out during the phone call telling them they were pregnant. I can just hear it now: “Congratuations! You’re pregnant! Unfortunately….we transferred the wrong embryos, and the baby isn’t yours.”

Nothing was said about this woman’s embryos, and I’m assuming that means the other woman did not get pregnant. Yet, this couple said they decided instantly that she would carry the baby to term and then give it to its biological parents. Amazing and selfless? Absolutely.

The story had close to 200 comments, and I read every single one of them. Most praised this couple for not aborting the baby, but many were incredibly negative about IVF, going as far as to say that people who pursue IVF are selfish and if they can’t get pregnant naturally they should just accept it and adopt. They were also attacked because this is her fourth pregnancy, and apparently wanting to have more than one child is selfish. Here are a few of my favorites:

“To the self-righteous leaving comments: IVF is going to stunt us biologically. There is generally a good reason why people are infertile, and most of them should not propagate their impaired genes. I, like others, applaud the couple for not killing the baby; I, like some others, am disappointed in their decision to try to dilute the gene pool to begin with. Whether you believe in macro-evolution or not, micro-evolution has been demonstrated within a life time, and certainly within recorded history. By diluting the gene pool with individuals biologically unfit to conceive, you are hurting humanity. Please stop it. I don’t challenge your right to have children; I challenge your sense of entitlement to procreate at the expensive of everyone else.”

“for real doc!!??? and for real ppl??!! if ur not meant to have kids accept it and move on… this is what happen when u want to go against what God gives u!!!”

“Why would you go to such lengths for a fourth child anyway? Isn’t this world crowded enough? IVF is such a selfish, self-serving medical procedure. If you can’t have babies naturally, take one of the plentiful unwanted children that exist all around the world.”

“If I were she, I’d abort immediately. If I were the biological mother, I’d insist on an abortion. No other woman would be allowed to carry my embryo! This isn’t a “gift”; she is depriving the real mother of carrying her own child. I’d never take a biological child handed to me, carried by a surrogate. And both sets of parents should shut down that clinic, and find out who got their other embryos. They could all have other children out there that they don’t know about. Everyone who has had a pregnancy out of that clinic should have a DNA test immediately.”

“I am glad you are doing this for that couple. People should learn that if you can’t conceive you need to just accept it or adopt. Things happen for a reason and too many people try to play God. These people had 3 kids already AND she had difficult pregnancies. At least she’s redeeming herself from her original selfishness.”

Those comments blew me away. I’m pretty sure none of them have ever had to deal with fertility issues; if so, I’m sure they wouldn’t be saying that they just need to accept it. IVF does not create children with impaired genes. Fertilization occurs just as it would inside the body. The only difference is that an embryologist is assisting. I’m assuming that commenter doesn’t realize that miscarriages in pregnancies occur because of something wrong with the embryo’s genetics. Yes, there are babies who are still born with genetic abnormalities, but I don’t believe that IVF increases that.

And really? It’s selfish to want to carry your own child? I guess I’m selfish, then, because not only did I want to experience carrying my own child, but I would like to have more than one. I’d love to see how these commenters would change their tunes after being told they could never get pregnant naturally.

What’s selfish is the number of women who commented and said that if they were in this position they would abort. As much as I know it would hurt to know that I’m carrying someone else’s child, I would never abort. It’s not the child’s fault. And how can you say that what this woman is doing isn’t a gift? The other woman obviously had fertility issues too, so even though she didn’t carry her own child, she’s going to get to be a mother. That’s the greatest gift you can give anyone.