today i went grocery shopping. the cashier asked to see my license after i gave her my check, then asked me when it expires. “in march 2005,” i say. “that was two months ago,” she says.crap. i’ve been driving with an expired license for two months.

that’s when i start to flip out.

i went home, got my lease and drove over to the friendly dmv office. after waiting for about 10 minutes i finally get up to the first employee and give her my lease and tennessee license. “i need to get a new license,” i say.

dmv lady: i need a certified copy of your birth certificate
me: a certified copy?
dmv lady: yes
me: where do i get that?
dmv lady: where were you born?
me: baltimore, maryland
dmv lady: then you’ll have to call baltimore and have them send you one
me: well i really need a license today. can i show you my social security card?
dmv lady: no
me: my copy of my birth certificate?
dmv lady: no

apparently my birth certificate isn’t enough proof that i was, in fact, born in the united states. after spending about an hour trying to get a hold of someone at the dmv (they never answer their phones) i called the state office and was told that my copy of my birth certificate will work, as long as it’s the original and has the seal on it. that’s all they had to tell me in the first place.