i’m beginning to think i’m overstressing myself. my newest fear is that i will have to get my wedding dress let out. i tried it on the other day and i swear that it feels tighter and was harder to zip up. although, the latter could be because the tag came off so instead of having that to pull the zipper i had to use the zipper itself.

be that as it may, i am petrified of my dress not fitting. the strange thing is that my scale says i weigh about the same as i did when i bought the dress, and the nurse at my doctor’s office on monday said i’d dropped four pounds from when i was last there four months ago. a pound a month doesn’t sound good to me, but i guess with the extra insulin i’m contending with that’s actually a miracle. my previous doctor told me i’d have to work out more than normal to lose weight. blah on her.

joe says i look sexy to him, which makes me feel good. then i look in the mirror and become depressed. my little brother told me tonight it’s not a big deal if my dress has to be let out. and he told me not to think i’m fat anymore.

i wish i could see myself the way others see me. maybe one of these days i will.