Think of the one thing you wouldn’t want to happen to you when you’re driving. That one thing that would send me over the edge is exactly what happened to me this morning.

I headed out early to Douglas County to cover the Board of Commissioners’ work session. We were done in an hour, and I headed back home, hoping to get a lot accomplished. I hit Paulding County and was singing along with the radio when I felt something on my ankle. I moved my ankle but could still feel something on it, so I glanced down to take a look.

And, wrapped around my ankle was a SNAKE. Seriously, people. A SNAKE in my CAR. Luckily, I was nearing a subdivision where there was a turning lane, so I swerved over, kicking my leg to dislodge the snake. When I got it off my ankle, I tried to figure out how to stop my car without touching the brake because OHMYGOSHTHERE’SASNAKEINMYCARWHATIFITTOUCHESMEAGAIN!

I managed to hit the brake, put the car in park and jump out. At that point, the snake was slithering up my seat. Of course, in my attempt to get out of my Mustang as fast as I could, I left the car running and the door open. The snake had wound its way under the driver’s seat and had stuck its head out from underneath, looking at me as if it was taunting me with, “Ha ha! I’ve taken over your car!” Because it had. It totally had. I was too freaked out to try to reach in and turn the ignition off.

I called Joe and was so hysterical that he couldn’t understand anything I was saying. Hysterical because there was a SNAKE in my CAR. He finally calmed me down, and I called 911. I’m sure the dispatcher who answered my car got a good laugh out of the woman who needed someone to come get the snake out of her car. I was assured that the next available sheriff’s deputy would be en route.

Before calling 911, I had tried to flag down passing motorists to see if anyone could help, especially those who drove by in trucks. No one stopped. But, as I was standing on the side of the road waiting, two men approached me. I had seen them pass, and they had stopped just a ways up and walked down to help me and wait with me until the deputy arrived.

When the deputy got there, he got out his trusty flashlight and began checking out my car. Two checks later, no snake was found. He acted like I had made the whole thing up (because, really, who DOESN’T make up a story about a snake wrapping themselves around her ankle while she was driving), especially when I said that it was around my ankle. When something like that happens, you don’t forget the feeling. EVER. I think I will always have the heebiejeebies.

I somehow got enough courage to get in my car and drive back to Cartersville, where Joe met me at the police department to clean out my car and examine it more thoroughly. And, we may have discovered where the snake came from. My car is missing the undercarriage on both sides, so the engine is exposed. Our theory is that the snake crawled up into the engine for warmth and then through the exposed area into the car and onto my ankle. My next plan is to get an estimate on the cost of replacing the undercarriages but, until then, I have moth balls taped to both sides of my car.

I don’t know how long it will be until I can get in my car without fear of a snake lurking by, but hopefully those moth balls will keep the snakes away.